Leah's Resume

The cover letter.....

Dear Ms. Thompson,

I would like to formally submit my resume for consideration for the Project Accountant position at XXXXXXXXX. I am a well qualified candidate with an unique skill set that will be unmatched by other candidates. I very much enjoy eating cake and looking at lamps. I know you will consider me an asset because we have an established relationship as friends that will easily translate to the working environment.

I understand the position very well already as I have job shadowed a number of times. I am confident that I will be able to execute movie watching, coloring and pushing buttons on the computer with expert efficiency.

Also, I have skin so none of my guts will fall out and make a mess. I look forward to meeting with you to review my attached resume as well as to blow bubbles.

Sincerely,

Leah Bell

The resume....

Poopy Diaper Team and Kitty Wars

Our children are officially known as the Poopy Diaper Team. Leah started saying it over and over and I asked her who was on the Poopy Diaper Team. Were she and Jack on it? She said yes. So here is the Poopy Diaper Team. Ignore Leah's bad hair. She had it nicely done in a yellow flower hair thing but she insisted that she hold it in her hand and get it off of her head.

Also, Beans is over for a visit while Ali and Scott are on vacation. Paul, hates him. Beans does not care. He will walk up and lay in front of Paul and get hissed and growled at but not even show an ounce of concern. Good job Beans. He also took a small boat ride in his kitty bed canoe when the bathroom flooded his first night here. He was upset about that. Below you can see Beans basking in the warm sun while Paul is in timeout on the cold snowy back porch. We don't normally put our cat in time out but I didn't have anywhere else to stick her at that particular moment and she was starting to get really nasty.

Tons of other stuff happened. I can remember none of it.

Leah Knows Some Animal Sounds

This is an unedited video of Leah saying some animal sounds. I have to prompt her a bunch of times so you shouldn't watch this if you find that sort of thing boring. I mean you siblings that hate to see people turn their blogs and Facebook pages into a big dedication to their children. Also, she doesn't respond to half the prompts and I have pregnancy congestion so it's all kind of downhill after the first 20 seconds.

I'm an Outcast but Maybe Stinky Pete Can Fix It

My dog hates me. I guess hate is a strong word. My dog shakes with fear at the very thought of having to live in the same house with me. When I say shake I mean actual, literal shaking. Especially in the hind quarters. Most of the time she tolerates me because she has no choice and I am very giving with the treats. Plus, there are tons of kids around who drop crackers and she can overlook my presence and distract herself on her hourly pass through the kitchen and living room for dropped food stuffs. But Dave left and he took Leah. She has to spend 3 whole days alone with me. At first she just slept in the corner of different rooms hoping for Dave's return. Now if I walk in a room, she will get up and leave. Even if she is fully asleep. Last night I came home from work and she got up to come and greet me (thinking it might be someone else). I heard her jump off of something and come running. When she saw me at the top of the stairs, she stopped dead in her tracks and refused to come down. Normally, if you entice her with going out she'll make a bee line for the door. I had to go upstairs and corner her to put her leash on to take her for a walk. She did enjoy the walk but as soon as we got home, she tried to back out of her leash and not come back in the house with me. Ingrate.

Leah makes me an outcast because we don't have much in common anymore. She, unlike the dog, thinks the Earth revolves around me (I guess we do have that in common) but she is girly. She likes to wear dresses and twirl around. She also knows quite well how to accessorize her dresses with necklaces, sunglasses and purses. I'm not sure where she learned it because it wasn't from me. Maybe Dave has a secret side he isn't quite ready to share with me.

I'm hoping Stinky Pete will want to hang with me and read the internet and drink Dr. Pepper all day. He's my last holdout for fitting in at home now. That was a lot of buildup to say Stinky Pete is a boy. So maybe at the end of September, he'll come out and do crossword puzzles with me.

The top picture is a side profile. You can kind of make out the shape of the head, nose and mouth. The bottom picture is proof of the baby being a boy. I know it's hard to read so here is my Paint intepretation of it. You have to imagine that the baby is sitting on a glass table and you are looking directly up at him. You also may have to enlarge the picture to see my outlines.

Leah is Recession Proof

I don't have to worry about saving for college for this kid. She has the talent to make some money. Although this doesn't really show her full dance skills it does show she knows how to dance on command.

Leah Knows Where Spot is Not

Leah has read Where's Spot so many times now she knows that he is NOT hiding under the stairs, in the piano, under the bed, in the clock, or any other place for that matter. She knows because H ripped the flap off the basket in the back so Spot is in plain view of anyone who isn't blind and really not hiding at all. Thanks H. This is one of Leah's favorite books.

Murphy is CRAZY and Leah Eats a Cupcake: Riveting Tales from The Bells.

She had a nervous breakdown or something. She started acting a little weird a few weeks ago. She wouldn't sleep in our room anymore. Then, she started following Dave around like she hadn't seen him in ages and had to spend every second with him. Then she stopped eating. Then she started shaking and wouldn't take her tail from between her legs. So I took her to the vet. She is in perfect health so it is all in her brain. She might have had mini strokes or have doggie Alzheimer's. Either way she's nuts. The best part is that her treatment is aroma therapy, treaties and if she gets too bad with the shaking, putting a t-shirt on her. Dave didn't believe me when I told him. He asked if I went to the vet of Liz. A reasonable assumption since she treats most things with treaties and walkies and loves to dress up her dog. We think most of the crazy had to do with Casey's blanket making a reappearance a year after his death and smelling up the joint. She's better but she still isn't normal. She doesn't like me anymore. If I try to get her to do something she just stares at me from across the room. The only time she is happy around me is if I'm letting her outside, onto the back porch or into any room where Dave is and I am not.

On a different note, I didn't get a free camera from the Internet but we did get a video camera for Christmas from the moms. I have spent the last two weeks trying to figure it out and learning valuable lessons. I know now that I yell at the cat too much. I also know that I didn't need to download a million and one codec converters and that all I had to do was convert the file to a wmv to edit it. I also know that Sony tech support is bad news. I also learned that I want a new computer. I like mine. I really do. But I don't want to have to take a half hour to upload 5 minutes of video footage and then take another hour to convert it to a file I can edit and then another half hour to load it on the internet. That is a long time for 5 minutes. I keep getting all these error messages about USB 2.0 making things go much faster. When I got this computer 7 years ago, many of these things that make computing a breeze didn't exist. I know I just need to figure out Dave's newer fancy scmancy Mac that edits videos much better and faster and stuff but Sony hates Dave's computer and Dave has to figure out a way to even get the footage on his computer at all. Then I'll be happy to use it. I promise.

The unfortunate lesson I haven't learned is how to convert the music in iTunes so I can load it in Windows Movie Maker and add songs to the video. Because of that, for the video below, instead of a lovely song I had selected from 150 kids songs to make a mom insane, you get what I believe is Leah's thoughts while eating a cupcake...in a robot voice. Don't worry, I will someday figure out how to add music. Robot commentary won't be permanent.

Enjoy.