I Got Tons of Loot and I didn't Even Have to Eat Unlabled Baby Food

2007 marks the year of the best baby shower ever had. There are so many things that make it superior.

1. Full Thanksgiving Meal
2. Ali dressed as a slutty trophy wife
3. I was able to take the prettiest baby dress ever and make it wierd (it was being pulled on a sled led by a ceramic dog)
4. The only game played was a murder mystery in which everyone wore costumes and really got into their parts. I don't think I have ever seen such good impromptu actors in my life.
5. The cake had turkeys dressed in diapers
6. My dad came
7. The awsomest ever people that threw it made it the perfect baby shower for me by having an office gift exchange as part of the party so I wouldn't have to sit in the middle of the room and open all the presents whilst everyone stared at me oohing and aahing
8. My husband spent the entire night hitting on his cousin
9. My husband in the game was an infant. I guess now I know a little about how Dave feels being married to me, a person more than a decade younger than him. I don't typically ask him to change my diaper though.
10. The Golden Girls came
11. Fallon's glasses.
12. Dave and I are 80% equipped for the Big Orange Baby. She is coming in 7 weeks or so.


There are many more reasons that I can't remember at the present moment because I am really pregnant and dumber than the mechanical dancing turkey that currently adorns our tv cabinet but I just want to say thank you again to Ali, Liz, Emily and anyone else that helped them to get this. I think this party has outdone all the other ones we did but I may be biased because it was so tailored towards me.

Also, thanks to everyone who came and everyone who has sent us gifts. This is not a cheesy replacement for real thank you cards. I will send you one.

One more thing...Liz...are you my mummy?

BBQ Angst

Dave got a new grill for his birthday. It brings a whole new joy to Hunk-a-Chuck Sunday, much like the new apron he got from the Righters to commerate this blessed weekly occasion. What is really the most funny is that Dave has a new grill log. I win and I lose. I, his anal retentive wife, push Excel spreadsheets on people like it is crystal meth. I believe they are magical and addictive. I will always format the first one for free. Now, he is using it to perfect his meat preparation. I don't hate pork and beef but I don't love it as much as he does. Liz and I like to pretend that Dave's log entries go a little something like this...

Date: 10/14/07
Weather: Sunny
Wind: Lite at about 10 mph
Temp: mid 70's
Meat: Pork (10 lbs)

Dear BBQ Grill Log,

It has been a rough day today. Karen and Liz still complain about the vast amounts of meat I prepare each Sunday. Every week I tell Liz, "This is the week if ever to change your life forever and try a succulent piece of non poultry meat". Every week she rebuffs me with a scoff and some Wendy's chicken nuggets. When will she see the light? I think about reading passages to her from my new BBQ cookbook that I got for my birthday to help her see the error of her ways but she just won't listen.

On another note, I am a little concerned. I just love the new grill so much that I'm worried when Leah is born I won't be able to choose between it and her. I know she is my daughter but she doesn't smoke anything.

I heard a new joke today... An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary. 'Let's have a BBQ party, Homer,' she suggested. 'Let's kill a pig.' The farmer scratched his grizzled head. 'Gee, Ethel,' he finally answered, 'I don't see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago."

Well anyhow, I have to go check the temp or that Boston Butt will never be done.

Until next Sunday,

Dave