So my identity was stolen again. Once again, the evil one bought about $750 worth of Bed Bath & Beyond gift cards but this time, instead of the phone sex and plane tickets, he/she purchased a $300 haircut, a rental car and paid their storage bill.
I really do want to know who did it just so I can act out those commercials so this time I decided I would pick who did it. I chose Donna Hogan, estranged sister of the late Anna Nicole Smith. I chose her for the following reasons...
1. She is trying to completely remake herself like Anna Nicole-hence needing a really expensive haircut.
2. He was on Dr. Phil and other media outlets recently pushing her new book in which she blasts Anna Nicole for a variety of things including giving naked pictures of herself to their father, therefore she would need a rental car to drive to the studios.
3. She will need a storage space to store all the books that are printed that nobody will buy because she didn't actually know Anna Nicole so all of her stuff must be lies. Plus, the time when she could have known her was before she was famous and lets face it, people will be even less interested.
4. All the charges were in Texas and I don't know anybody in Texas so I had to make up a random person.
DONNA FAYE HOGAN, GIVE ME BACK MAH AHDENTITAH (that is my pathetic attempt at a Texas accent in written form)
9 comments:
I could put a hit out on her if you like. You always offered the same services to me for a bargain price of $6.
Donna is so skanky to steal your self like that. And that haircut just isn't worth $300.
you should stop being so selfish. Donna needed those things to build her new identity. so what if she borrowed yours for awhile. she gave it back.
You're fixin' to get back at her, I'd imagine. (That is Texan)
They don't know who stole your identity but you know they paid for their storage unit?
How is it that you are lucky enough to get your identity stolen twice in this short a time? It is a good identity, I admit. But why doesn't anyone want mine? Is my credit score not good enough, or what?
I don't even know what to comment, other than wow and hee-hee (at your creativity and humor, not at the stolen identity part.)
I think you're overlooking Mindy Cohn, the chubby, wisecracking Natalie Green from TV's "The Facts of Life." She's been on the lam since 2003, when she was scheduled to be one of the celebrities featured on the reality show The Surreal Life. She dropped out of sight for months, arousing suspicion in both the media and the police. We all wonder if she's decided to abandon her acting career for a life of crime.
I know donna personaly.. i lived with her grandmother in porter texas.. the hell she put that lady through,, then lied to get me thrown out when i was trying to help her grandmother.. the bitch does not know thr 1st thing about her sister..i heard her argue with anna on the phone.. she doesnt know what she thinks she knows.. and all the surgeries in the world will not make her look like anna.. please DONNA GET A LIFE U USLESS BITCH! if u are reading this.. i hope u get what u deserve in the end.. i dont think u should make money off ur sister.. good luck tramp.. oh and if i hear anything about u makin a move on my man again.. u will find out how big a bitch iam......
it prolly was donna that stole ur identity,, she has to have money to buy her drugs with,, she is a big pill freak,, i was in a accident in 98 and left a bottle of darvocets for my back in my dresser,, went to the bathroom knowing she was in the house .. when i came out ,, my pills were gone.. so yeah i believe u
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